Pandora Scooter: Blog

I’m sorry you stepped on my toes. No, wait.  I mean, you’re sorry, you stepped on my toes… Right? Are you sorry you stepped on my toes? You haven’t apologized Perhaps you haven’t realized What should be obvious even to your vacant eyes That what you did was so unwise.   You stayed where you were unwanted You stayed where you were uninvited You violated my trust You must really, really not get it. Shit.   You said not two hours earlier that you would be more careful with me. Not take things for granted That you would tread more carefully Not make me responsible for your assumptions. Not act on presumptions That you would treat me with the respect And not expect that you can do as you please. Tease. Tease. You’re such a trust tease. You muster up just the right thing to say to help me choose to let you get away Get away with seeping into my life Wherever there’s a slight crack in the wall…   So you know where I went today? [...]

 
They say if you say it, it will come true Just ‘putting it out into the ether’ brings it closer to you. They say if you think it, it will be realized That all you need to do is visualize it in your mind’s eyes. All them they’s who say these things They say them while disclaiming that if it didn’t come true If IT didn’t get realized Then it was you who didn’t deeply believe, think, or visualize It’s never the practice, it’s always the practitioner who is at fault And proof of it ‘working’ always hangs by a frayed string of dental floss “OMG one day I was pulling into the parking lot at Target and I thought, “I want a first row space.” And right then one came open and I got it!  See?” or “You know, one year I was so depressed, I didn’t leave my apartment for a month and I was on the kitchen floor, crying my eyes out begging for someone to reach out and show that they cared when [...]

On the other side of ‘good-bye’ isn’t a ‘hello’ It’s just quiet and the echo of my pounding feet As I run miles and miles Trying to understand the meat of the matter, but all the while Hearing the echo Seeing the darkness Feeling the void Touching emptiness   On the other side of ‘good-bye’ isn’t a ‘hello’ It’s feats of will power to not drop back into old habits It’s the exertion of energy to forge brand new paths It’s wondering whether or not I made the right choice It’s the echo of hearing only my own voice It’s seeing the darkness that is obscuring my future It’s feeling the void that is cold and damp It’s touching the emptiness that lacks all the unwanted adventure You introduced into my life All the strife   On the other side of ‘good-bye’ isn’t a ‘hello’ There’s no welcoming committee There’s no map There’s no celebration [...]

Nuance is the difference between needs and wants.I want to feel connected, but I need to feel at peace.I want to be famous, but I need to be respected.I want to change the world, but I need to improve my piece.I want people to always love, but I need malice to cease.Nuance is the difference between needs and wants.I could die today and except for abandoning my daughter, I would be at peaceI don't have much of anything left to prove, I've achieved a grooveThat swings to the beat of my heart and drives my steps every time I moveBut this doesn't mean This doesn't meanThis does not meanThat I don't have ambitionThat I don't have driveThat I don't have plansThat I don't want to thriveit just means that I know the difference between my needs and my wantsIt means I can live in peace, while striving with gleeIt means I've passed my finish line and am driving freeTo uncharted towns in the universe of meI got my Pulitzer Prize a few days agoWhen a young woman came up to me just to let me knowThat [...]

I want to unknow youGo before 2002When I didn't have a clueAbout how I would let you undo me through and throughOver and OverFor years to comeI want to unknow you to the point where we can have funInstead of having enmeshed interactions and argusationsI want to unknow you to the point where I smile when I see youThat I feel good when you're aroundThat I enjoy your companyA time when you were centered on the groundI want to unknow your triggers and trip wiresSo if I trip or trigger, I can't get firedI want to unknow your likes and your favorites'Cause knowing them hasn't earned us shitI want to unknow your pain because you won't let me help you with itI want to unknow your talent becaue you won't do anything with itI want to unknow your vulnerability and that you hurt me irrevocably twiceI want to unknow your hugs 'cause they come at such a high priceWhat are the dangers if we go back to being strangersWe could choose not to become friends, we could come out different in the endI want to [...]