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Pandora Scooter: Blog

The Definition of Forgiveness

Posted on November 7, 2011 with 0 comments
She's made mistakes, yes.  Big ones.  Big, sloppy, messy, sprayed mud all over your white pants mistakes.
She broke your trust, your heart, your faith, she must be punished.
But the punisher is inside her
And you have no control over the whippings, and the beatings and the condemnation
But you want retribution
So you take it out on others in your circle - like me
You think you can unfurl the grasp she has on people you love
Shove her to the ground and make her disappear.
But, guess what?  She's still here.
And she deserves to be here.
She has physically hurt no one but herself.
She has lied to protect those around her.
She has confused neediness with love.
And she is learning the difference.

Despite your rage and your disgust
She will grow
She IS growing
And soon - in terms of a lifetime - she will thrive
She is surviving and nothing will hold her back
Except herself.

And you. have. no. control.

Your disgust scares me.
The bile you emit - vomit - all over my heart - burns holes in it.
And you're not even ashamed.
You haven't looked in the mirror once since she burned you.

You're telling yourself stories about her.
Stories to make yourself feel better about being made to look like an asshole.

And what if you're right
And she's poison
And she begins to destroy the thing you love
What will all this negativity do then?

'I told you so?'

Where's the love?
Where's the compassion?
Where's the hope?
Where's the encouragement?

You are stuck in a cycle of anguish and anger
And if you'd just take a day and stare into the mirror
You'll spy that inside the shine in your eye
Is a sprig of forgiveness for yourself
That could lead to forgiveness of her
And freedom from the rage
And clarity of your genuine priority.

But who am I?
Just someone who's crossed paths with you.
No more important than the homeless beggar on the street
So, I'll respect you as you sit in your seat
And bow to your wishes of imaginary vanishes
But from your table I will not eat.

 

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