Pandora Scooter

Around this time of year, people start writing gratitude lists and I'm no different.  But this year, I decided that my gratitude list was going to be specific.  Rather than just listing random nouns and pronouns and activities, I've chosen to put a bit more detail into my gratitude.  After all, beauty is in the details.  And gratitude, when specific, is all the more satisfying.  At least to me.  So here are my fifty things I'm grateful for for 2015:

1. People who are peaceful and who work for peace in personal and global contexts.
2. Pharmaceutical medications that help otherwise dysfunctional people function highly
3. The ability to sleep
4. Artists - amateur, professional, struggling, successful
5. The ability to be moved - by art, by words, by actions, by ideas, by a quick glance
6. My ability to teach just about anything I understand
7. Non-toxic drinking water
8. Luddites - I think we need some folks to keep us from advancing too fast.
9. The time to correct misconceptions about people around me
10. Learning things that are difficult/foreign/challenging to me
11. Yukio Mishima, who taught me how to be a fearless artist
12. Picasso, whose “Girl in the Mirror” taught me how to be a bold artist
13. Martha Knight, my mentor in my late teen and early 20s
14. Chronic physical illness-free
15. The ability to eat solid food
16. The ability to memorize large amounts of text
17. My inability to remember SVU episodes I’ve seen half a dozen times
18. My mutually respectful, loving, fun and honest relationship with my daughter
19. My daughter’s health and well being
20. Teachers who care about their students beyond the grades they get
21. Ex-girlfriends for teaching me how to be better in relationships (sometimes by example)
22. Parents who understand the importance of respecting their children as human beings
23. My parents who continue to support me
24. Flirty glances between strangers crossing paths on the sidewalk
25. Activists and Scientists who are fighting to stop global warming.
26. Malala Yousafzai who fights the Taliban to get girls educated in Pakistan.
27. Sriracha steak salad
28. Artists who will volunteer their talents for a greater cause, thanks this year to Crys Matthews,  Joanne Filan, Julia Scotti, and Rich Kiamco.
29. All the people who have ever enjoyed my work
30. Out of the Box and all the people who have been brave enough to share and listen there
31. The Pride Center of NJ where I came out and continue helping other women come out
32. All the GSA Advisors, Pride Center Organizers, LGBT Program Coordinators and students who have hired me
33. My ex-husband who, despite disagreeing with me on every little thing, has stuck around to be there for his daughter in the best way he knows how
34. Megan, for inspiring me to push myself farther, take myself to the next level, who has supported me all the way and is a fun, FUNNY, and great friend and lover.
35. Young woman I hire who are willing to work for me and assist me.
36. Boxing or, rather now, Kick Boxing.  The ability to hit and kick inanimate objects.
37. Therapy and the last 14 years with my therapist, Myrna who has changed my life.
38. My apartment…the size, the layout, the height of the ceilings the location.
39. Highland Park…for being a safe space to raise myself and my kid
40. My friend, director, artistic partner and all around playmate Cedric.
41. That I’m not intimidated by much of anything, nor am I being intimidated - thank goodness.
42. That I’m not scared of death
43. Not-so-random conversations with strangers at bars
44. First dates - flowing into and embracing the awkwardness is so much fun
45. Ryan, for being one of the most expansive people in my life
46. Trust, in general and specific.  Without trust, there is nothing.
47. The way my grandma used to sound when she heard it was me on the phone. (she didn't have caller ID)
48. Stephen and Mac for 13 years of collaboration and at least 10 years of awesomeness.
49. Financial, mental, physical, emotional stability
50. Cheap caviar, sour cream and water crackers